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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Urgent Comedy Help Needed - Stat!!!

I've come to a sobering realization during our vacation - kids are NOT funny. Don't get me wrong, some of the funniest things I've ever heard have been spoken by our two daughters - unintentionally, spoken - which makes all the difference.

What I mean, is that when kids are NOT trying to be funny, they are natural crack-ups; however, when they intentionally try to tell a joke it's worse than watching CarrotTop doing mime. Here are recent examples:

We're vacationing with another family by an idyllic lake in Maryland. Yesterday, we were all kayaking at a beach within a state park. Our youngest (age 7) was standing behind me as I took off my shirt and put on my required life jacket. In response to the strategically placed tufts of hair on my back she nonchalantly stated to all who could hear, "Daddy, your back looks like a Jack-O-Lantern" : FUNNY

[Note: this child has never seen Steve Carrell's Man-O-Lantern from the movie 40-Year Old Virgin - see photo insert].

Now that kind of unintentional comedy is funny. What's not been funny are the knock-knock jokes, never-ending jokes and non-jokes we're forced to suffer through at dinner. For example, the classic non-knock-knock joke goes "knock, knock//who's there//me//me who//me boo boo boo lah lah do." : NOT FUNNY

That joke, along with dozens of other ill-conceived, overly forced attempts at humor, are foisted upon the adults in an unrelenting stream of unfunny over dinner. As such, humor is maimed and impaired - digestion suffers accordingly.

In an attempt to salvage our remaining vacation dinners, please share your FUNNIEST knock-knock joke and/or short setup joke (no more than three sentences) ASAP so we can school our kids accordingly in the art of funny.

Our fractured funny bones thank you!!!!

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