The Daily ReTORt

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Sunday, August 29, 2010

A Vision for Your Daughter(s)....

My apologies in advance for the exclusive nature of this post, but today's blog is written specifically for parents of a daugher(s).

I recently saw a back-to-school commercial for big box retailer Target - click below for the link.

Basically, the ad has a set of pre-teen triplets who embody the ideal of freedom, exemplefied in their chosen"Sugar-and-Spice Girl" personas of Sporty Spice, Brainy Spice and Dressy Spice respectively. That got me thinking about my aspirations for my own daughters this school year and prompts me to pose the following question:

"If you could encourage only one overriding trait for your daughter, which would it be?"
a. smart
b. athletic
c. kind
d. spiritual
e. ambitious

I'm grateful that my own daughters are not one-dimensional personality types but are intentionally being raised to be well-rounded.

However, they do have their own self-directed tastes and preferences which are emerging that we're having to nurture as well. This question is specific to daughters since they will grow into women who are still at a competitive disadvantage to men in our society regarding equal pay and equal rights in many respects.

To that end, I've posted the above question as a survey on this home page for parents of girls (the daughters can be any age), which I hope you'll answer - knowing that there is no single right or wrong answer.  As of this writing, I don't know which way I'm leaning.


  1. I had not yet seen that commercial, so thanks for sharing. As the mother of two boys and an almost two year old daughter, I can't help but think on these things already. She is already developing her own little personality,and we are nurturing certain things as well. Now, what I will say is this. I have not voted yet, but when I do, I will likely vote for spiritual. I want to explain my thought pattern if that is okay. Here's the thing. For me, I equate spiritual with being a Christian, having faith and ultimately the lifestyle that follows as putting your trust in a God of love. So, for me the choice would be spiritual because I think when you walk that path, the other traits will follow naturally - well, not all of them, but you get the idea. That is my standpoint because that is what is important to me. I want nothing more than to instill morals, values and faith in a very real God with my daughter. With that, I hope that she continues in those ways and grows up to stand strong on her own, all the while being held by Him. I hope all that made sense somewhere other than just in my head. Thanks again for the thoughts!

  2. This post is very timely for me. Samantha and I had a conversation yesterday in which she asked, "do you think I'm artistic?" to which I responded, "I think you are artistic in lots of ways."
    She got quiet and then said, "Actually, Mom, I think I'm a lot of things. And I see that other people have it harder than I have it sometimes and I just really feel blessed."
    In that moment it was her graciousness that impressed me, more than anything other quality that she has. She recognized the SOURCE of her abilities.
    I would pick spiritual hands down, every time. I think it gives perspective to the other gifts, and it is the only one that extends beyond this life.

  3. oops...typo...impressed me more than ANY other quality she has....

  4. @Laura, great insight and perspective! I think your point about walking the path and the other traits will follow is excellent. It reminds me of the passage in Romans about seeking first His kingdom and everything else will be added to you. Thanks for taking the time to post here!

  5. @beeg, Sam is lucky to have you and Jim as parents - your answer to her was outstanding. Additionally, your comment about the "source" cannot be overestimated. As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome here! Please reply more often!

  6. Despite the erudite comments regarding the spiritual source for other traits... the very first thing that came to me (and Teresa) is "kind". I guess we're not spiritual enough! :-)

  7. I really like the point that we should raise our daughters (children) to be well rounded individuals. In fact it is a great concept. Thanks for sharing. Monica.
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