Top-10 List: WORST Halloween treats

Our neighborhood is GREAT for Halloween trick-or-treating. It’s well lit with sidewalks and tons of families with kids.

So this weekend, we bought Halloween candy in preparation of the upcoming spooky fete – here’s a tip all the REALLY good candy is given out at our house (e.g. full-size Snickers, Reese’s PB cups, Super Blow Pops, Sour Patch kids…etc.)

However, I’m always stunned at some of the crappy treats that are still on the market – which prompted this little confectionary tirade of the top-10 WORST Halloween treats.

10. Malt balls – these are the genetically inferior distance cousin to the supremely better Milk Duds. Don’t confuse them!

9. Bit ‘O Honey/Mary Janes (or any other of those Depression Era candies still wrapped in wax paper) – nuff said!

8. Black Licorice – this is reminiscent of Vicks Formula 44D Original cough syrup (bleech!) and is the sugary bastardization of the far superior red licorice made by Twizzlers or Red Vines respectively.

7. A small box of raisins – any other day of the year raisins are awesome, but they are a complete bummer next to all the other Halloween booty in your bag of goodies. Raisins on Halloween are like taking your sibling to the prom – just weird.

6. Tootsie Rolls – I know I’ll catch a lot of flak opposing that iconic candy but honestly what is a Tootsie Roll? It’s like a waxy chocolate facsimile that was phoned in by drunken pixies. I’ll take raisins please....

5. Tootsie Pops – the only thing worse than a Tootsie Roll is encasing it a thick patina of off-flavor rock candy and then making you WORK to get to the congealed center, yuck!

4. Mallo Cups – this is the saddest candy on the list because it comes so close to ultimate greatness. No one can refute that the greatest chocolate candy is a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, yet the misguided folks at Mallo Cup took Hershey’s perfection and cobbled together a culinary stink bug…so sad.

3. Giant Orange Circus Peanuts – these are those unnaturally orange, thumb-size stale “treats” (and I use that term very loosely) that are sold 500 in a bag on the bottom shelf at grocery stores.  I guess they’re packaged in such bulk since they can also double as dunnage when you have to mail fragile objects across country.  These are the most confusing treats since they are not individually wrapped (so no parent will let their kids eat them) and are very unappetizing – they are what I envision the petrified droppings of the Sugar Plum Fairy might look like - muted orange grossness.

2. Necco Wafers – I prefer to call them Necro Wafers since they taste like death in your mouth, little more than flavored chalk. The absolute worst is the licorice Necco Wafer (ugh!), followed closely by the 2nd worst flavor, chocolate Necco Wafer.  I’d just as soon pop a Rolaids or Tums and get the same chalky mouth sensation with at least fresher breath.

1. Candy from ANY other holiday – as a kid growing up, there lived on our street a mean old widow named Mrs. Egan. Every year you’d get candy from her that came from other holidays such as candy canes from Christmas; Easter marshmallow Peeps; or an assortment of Valentine’s Day Necco hearts. I was convinced that she couldn’t pawn off that junk candy when it was fresh on her grandkids, so she saved it up for street urchins like me and gave us the stale goodies for Halloween. I actually got a Boy Scout merit badge for “Community Service” when I listed this annual refuse collection as a civic duty I voluntarily undertook.

Please share the ones you agree and disagree with – but if you disagree, your arguments better be better than mine!

Amazing Perseverance...by a 10-Year Old

The Same Poster My Daughter Used When She Lost
Last Year, But Won This Year, Hung in Her Room   

I'm as proud as can be. When I got home from work last night I was told by our exuberant 10-year old that she had won her election race to be Vice President at her elementary school.

But that's not what makes me proud of her.

What makes me proud is that the photo insert you see pictured here to the left "Taylor C. for VP" hung in her room for the past several months when she LOST the very same race for Vice President last year.

Even though she lost the election back then, she believed in herself and persevered to win now. While the accomplishment is good, it's her character that's truly inspiring.

If you're interested, you can click on the "read more" link below for the original post from November 16, 2010 I wrote about her loss, and how she handled it with grace and maturity beyond her years.

We Need More Than Ourselves

I spent most of my Sundays growing up as a kid being dragged to some kind of charismatic church; tent meeting or guest-preacher service. Mostly I was bored. Often I would sleep under the seats. Sometimes I’d smuggle in Matchbox cars and drive them along the curvey armrests of the pews. And other times I would hear.

Even as a child, I remember hearing the beautiful music that was elevated by all the voices singing together. In particular, there was a little old Italian woman who always sat behind me. She sang a third of the words in English, a third in Italian and a third in other tongues. She didn’t have a great sounding voice as I recall, but she did sing with all her heart. That has always lingered with me.

I would also hear some of the words. Words like, “Be kind to one another…” or “Forgive as you’ve been forgiven…” or “Love others as you love yourself…” but I mostly remember hearing the words, “Fear not…” Those are important words for any and every child to hear – that they shouldn’t fear. That has always lingered with me as well.

I would also hear tears. People would cry over their lost loved ones; past mistakes; personal problems or other maladies of the heart, mind and spirit. Others nearby would hug them and pray quietly. Words of encouragement and hope were shared as well as real offers to help. I would hear tears and that lingers with me still.

So much so, that my wife and I drag our daughters to church every Sunday with their pockets filled with Polly Pockets and her rubberized wardrobe. I know that sometimes they're bored. Sometimes they whine, sometimes they complain, but other times – they hear. I know they hear, because they ask the same questions I used to ask my parents driving home from church.

And the beauty of faith is that it offers real hope for the hardest questions we face in life - questions of living, loving and dying. Even though Karl Marx called religion the “opiate of the masses” it’s a better “drug” than the self-medicated, secularized state of numbness that seems to be leeching across our culture and country.

In pursuit of our downloadable digital distractions; our iPhone/iPad/iPod isolation; our virtual viral vexations – we are so very disconnected from what truly matters, and that’s each other.

And that’s why church matters – it offers community, contact and comfort in a world that’s becoming increasingly devoid of such novelties. I believe that church is one of the few places where we can go to find truth and support that meets our deepest needs. Because don’t we ALL need something more than just ourselves?

New Study: Cursing Hurts Kids and Pre-Teens

Profane Kids Leads to Aggression (photo via Wikipedia)

Growing up, we've all heard the rhyme, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

However, according to a new study conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) it seems that words - particularly swearing and cursing - do have a negative affect on the health and well being of children.

Last week, the AAP presented findings at its annual meeting that pre-teens and kids exposed to profanity in television and video games are more likely to use profanity themselves, which has a direct casual relationship to increased physical and relational aggression, according to the study that was also published in the November 2011 issue of the medical journal Pediatrics.

In report titled Profanity in the Media Associated with Attitudes and Behavior Regarding Profanity Use and Aggression, 223 middle school students completed surveys on their aggression, preferred media, time spent viewing media, perceived aggression in their favorite shows and games, beliefs about profanity and profanity use.

The results showed a direct link in the viewing of media with high profanity, profanity use and subsequent aggression. According to the study authors, the findings provide continued support for ratings and content warnings surrounding profanity use in the various media - whether it was video games, music, television or movies.

This research is yet another clarion call for parents and guardians of children to ensure we know what media and the coarseness of the messaging that our young ones are being exposed.

Question: What are your views on swearing or profanity? Do you think there are more important things to worry about?

12 Rules for Every Family

Every Friday and Saturday, there's an Amish farmers' market that occupies a large storefront at a local plaza near our home.  We visit a couple times a month to shop for produce and other goods.

During a recent tour of homespun products from the residents of Lancaster County, PA we saw this sign titled "Family Rules" that my wife and I loved - it's pictured here as it's currently hanging in our home.

Just in case the image quality isn't that great on your screen, here are the "Family Rules" written out that we've adopted:

1. Keep your promises
2. Share
3. Think of others before yourself
4. Say I love you
5. Listen to your parents
6. Do your best
7. Say please and thank you
8. Always tell the truth
9. Laugh at yourself
10. Hug often
11. Use kind words
12. Love each other

These should apply to all of us, not just our kids. While they're all basic common sense and courtesy, it's good to have them prominently featured in our home as a reminder to each of us and to our guests. They're almost a household mission statement. Interestingly, there are no exceptions to these rules!

Question: Which of these "family rules" resonates with you? Which others are missing that you follow?

Clean Laundry??? - A Guy's Perspective.....

Laundry: Clean or Dirty???

Men and women have different standards about "cleanliness." I'm not sure if it's nurture or nature - but there seems to be a clear difference between where guys and gals fall along the sanitary spectrum.

This fact came to light during a discussion with my seven-year old girl as she was getting ready for bed. At the foot of her bed were three nightgowns from the past three nights - and she was getting a “fresh” nightgown out of her dresser. I asked her why not wear one of the other three that were already out.

She matter-of-factly replied, “Daddy, I’ve already worn each of those once.”

Asserting my paternal wisdom, I proceeded to explain that she could wear a nightgown more than once,  because it was unlikely that she would get very sweaty or dirty while she slept especially since her bedding was changed weekly.

By the expression on her face, I could tell that I was gaining persuasion ground, and that she was starting to see things my way when I may have taken it a step too far by declaring, “In fact sweetie, you COULD wear your PJs for an entire week without changing them.”

The look of shock and awe on her face told me that I had stretched her belief beyond the realm of possibility, which was reinforced by her immediate reply, “Mommy would NEVER let me wear my pajamas for a whole week!”  Hmmm…..probably not.

That got me thinking about the unspoken, unofficial “continuum of cleanliness” that I (and most guys) tend to follow - it's more of an art than a science. However, this continuum develops with experience over the years, like a body of scientific research builds on past findings or how the funk in a gym shower stall tends to incrementally increase scum layer upon scum layer - it’s a refined process.

Guest Post: Confessions of a Funeral Director

Funeral Director, Seminary Graduate
and Blogger: Caleb Wilde

Life is loss. We will all experience inescapable loss in various ways during our lifetime. A friend of mine, Caleb Wilde, (see photo insert) knows that all too well since he deals with it every day.

Caleb is a funeral director who happens to write about his day-to-day dealings with death and beyond. His blog is titled Confessions of a Funeral Director.

Don't let the seemingly morose title of his blog fool you, Caleb writes on a variety of topics that focus on life through a veil that we'll all walk one day. One of my favorite posts of his was where he offered a compelling comparison of Jesus with Lady Gaga.

Today, Caleb graciously features the eulogy I shared at my father's funeral a few years ago. Here's an excerpt of my guest post on his blog:

The Best Advice I Ever Got....

Are you a "thermostat"
or a "thermometer"

My maternal grandpa died in 1982 when I was 12 years old. His name was Matthew Nichols, and his passing was the first significant loss of my life.

He never graduated high school and was a self-taught electrician by trade, yet there were several invaluable life lessons that I learned from him.

One such lesson occurred when I was in the first grade at Hawthorne Elementary School in Wilingboro, New Jersey. One day during recess I got in big trouble because my two best friends decided it would be funny to go behind the school and pee on the building.

I went along and did just as they did. Our six-year old minds thought it was hysterically funny, until one of the recess aides caught us. Not only was I banned from outdoor recess for two weeks, I was roundly and soundly spanked when I got home from school by my parents – strong adherents of corporal punishment.

To add to my embarrassment, our grandparents were staying with us. I remember crying on my bed when my grandpa came into my room and unexpectedly turned the thermostat on my wall to 60º, forcing frigid air to pour into the already autumnally cool room.

He sat down on my bed and waited for me to stop crying. Then he gave me a hug. We sat there in silence for a minute, when I told him that I was getting cold.

He then explained something to me that I have never forgotten. He said that a thermometer goes up and down based on the temperature of the room that it’s in – even as a first grader I understood that concept. However, he went on to say that the thermostat actually determines the temperature within a space – just like the chill we were both experiencing in my room.

Grandpa then told me that even though he loved me, he was sad because I chose to be more of a “thermometer” at school that day by lowering to the bad decisions of others. He hoped that next time I would be more of a “thermostat” – setting the tone and expectation for conduct rather than merely following the bad behavior of another.

He then gave me another hug and turned off the air conditioning as he left my room. The blowing and the chill stopped immediately, but his insight still lingers with me today.

Since then, I’ve heard that analogy several times espoused by experts and PhDs alike, but the greatest delivery of that life lesson came from a man who had no more than an eighth-grade education.

Question: What's the best advice you've ever received and who gave it to you?

CyberBullying: What Parents Need to Know

Texting is an emerging form
of bullying for teens

As an adult, you've no doubt experienced a "flaming" email where a friend or colleague lashed out at you or someone you know electronically. What if several people were cc: on that email as well??

That's no fun and can be very hurtful to anyone.

Imagine the impact of that type of electronic humiliation on the immature psyche of a pre-teenager who's struggling to fit in? That's the context for what sociologists call "cyberbullying"

Cyberbullying, instead of happening face-to-face bullying, happens through the use of technology such as computers, cell phones and other devices. Child development experts state that this type of e-bullying tends to peak around the end of middle school and the beginning of high school.

Examples of cyberbullying include:

• Sending hurtful, rude, or mean text messages to others
• Spreading rumors or lies about others by e-mail or on social networks
• Creating websites, videos or social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate, or make fun of others

Bullying online is very different from face-to-face bullying because messages and images can be:

• Sent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
• Shared be shared to a very wide audience
• Sent anonymously

Research on cyberbullying has found that students involved are more likely to:

• Be unwilling to attend school
• Receive poor grades
• Have lower self-esteem
• Have more health problems
• Use alcohol and drugs
• Skip school
• Experience in-person bullying or victimization

Despite these negatives there are things that parents can do to help their kids deal with this emergent form of techno-bullying:

1. Communicate with your children. Set up a daily time to check in with your son or daughter, and listen to any concerns about online activities that they are involved in. 
2. Talk specifically about cyberbullying and encourage your children to tell you immediately if they see or experience cyberbullying. 
3. Be aware of where your children go online. Familiarize yourself with the technology they are using.
4. Work together and come to a clear understanding about when, where, and for what purpose phones and computers can be used. 
5. Develop clear rules about what is and what is not appropriate online, and decide on fair consequences when those rules are not followed.

Question: Has your pre-teen experienced cyberbullying? How did you help them handle it?

Should Facebook Have an "R" Rating???

Motion Picture Association of America
Uses R-Rating to Notify About Mature Content

I'm a parent of two daughters ages 7 and 10 respectively. Neither of them has a Facebook page - and they won't for several years.

Interestingly, Facebook itself has a policy that requires anybody with a FB page to agree that they are at least 13 years old.

Ironically, I know neighbors and colleagues whose children are younger than 10 and have personal pages on the world's largest social media site - in direct violation of Facebook's own policy. Those parents claim it's a harmless diversion that they actively monitor to keep track of what their kids are doing. While that may or may not be the case, I still think 13 is too young for a child to have their own FB page.

Regardless of how vigilant a parent might be, there is still no parental control mechanism that FB offers and there's no "sanitized" version of Facebook that I could comfortably allow my kids to engage. On a daily basis, content gets pushed onto newsfeeds of my "friends" - and most of those people aren't intending to share that information with minors, so there's usually no attempt at screening or moderating.

In fact, over the past 48 hours on the collective newsfeed of my 1,200+ friends I've seen the following:

• Multiple instances of the f-bomb and other swearing;
• Photos of people who were drunk;
• Sexually suggestive images;
• News stories and corresponding imagery that were excessively violent. 

As a parent, I would never intentionally expose my children to any of that type of content. In fact, if most of the content I referenced above was in a movie - that movie would be "R" rated.

To me, that's "adult" content and let's remember that in this country, you must be at least 18 years of age to be legally considered an adult.

My kids couldn't handle that and they shouldn't have to. To make the point a different way, when we travel on a trip, the suitcases that my wife and I carry are much to big and heavy for a child to carry. In the exact same way, much of the FB content is simply too much for a child to healthfully process and understand.

Furthermore, I haven't even addressed the risk of abduction that a minor might face if they have a social media presence where they nonchalantly discuss their whereabouts or schedule - as far as my kids are concerned, I only see risk and downside associated with being online.

Perhaps I'm being overly protective, but when it comes to my children I'd rather take the risk that they think I'm being mean and keep them off Facebook - than needlessly risk their innocence or safety.

Question: How old or mature should a child be to have a Facebook page and why do you think that?

Book Review: Rite of Passage - A Father's Blessing by Jim McBride

Irish poets, learn your trade, 

Sing whatever is well made, 

Scorn the sort now growing up 

All out of shape from toe to top. 

~ William Butler Yeats, poet 

 This quote by Yeats neatly sums up the fact that as adults, we are collectively a nation of stunted, spoiled children. We've forgotten how to grow up.

Oh we're aging just fine, the ever increasing sales for Botox is proof positive of that fact, but we're not maturing. Everyone says, "50 is the new 30" but those same 30-somethings are ruled by an inner child who doesn't know how to grow up.

Men in their 30s are regressing back to their childhood homes to be re-raised by their mothers, while legions of self-empowered "Sex in the City" wannabes are searching in clubs and nightlife for the absentee fathers of their youth. 

We each want what we want at the exact time we want it - which happens to be now. Isn't that a childish way to live?? As a father of two daughters, that's how my girls acted when they were infants. Yet it seems to be the normative reality in contemporary American society as we continue on an unending plane of perpetual midlife immaturity.

Author Jim McBride's book A Rite of Passage: A Father's Blessing offers a welcome respite from our adolescent addling over our current wants and future fears by paying homage to traditions of the past. McBride introduces the reader to the underlying concept of a "rite of passage," which was a time-honored practice that recognized and celebrated a child's transition to adulthood.

Amazingly, this ancient tradition cut across culture, race, religion, geography and gender - but somehow managed to fall into a westernized-Peter-Pan coma during the 20th century and beyond. The author stresses a need to reengage that practice of the past, to ensure the well being of our future.

McBride writes about the history and application of the ritual of the rite and how it's comprised of three critical elements: separation, transition and incorporation back with the family or group. He explains each of these phases and its role in transforming a self-focused taker into a community-centered contributor. Then McBride adds a twist to the ritualistic mix and introduces an instructional overly made up of the following:

• faith 
• hope
• love
• purity 
• integrity
• family

McBride then personalizes the book and dedicates a chapter to each of his own children - he as four, two boys and two girls - and their respective "rite of passage" into adulthood. Each of his homespun examples was unique, powerful, and heartfelt including quotes from trusted participants and his adult children themselves who spoke passionately about the impact that the faith-based ritual had on their lives.

In Rite of Passage, McBride reaches back for proven, time-tested navigation tools from the past to help parents map a course for their future progeny.  Perhaps it's time to reconsider traditions that are old and make them new again - that might be the first step toward our collective maturation process.

=============================================
Today's post is part of the Rite of Passage Blog Tour ,  be sure to comment below and either tweet this on Twitter or share it on Facebook to be entered into a drawing to receive a FREE copy of Jim's Book!

Question: Have you ever experienced a rite of passage yourself? Developed one for your child?

9 Bullying Myths That Parents Need to Know

Physical Bullying

My family moved around a lot when I was growing up. Every two years or so, I had to attend a different school and since I was the "new kid" at each school I invariably experienced bullying in some manner - mostly it was shoving, destruction of my personal belongings and fights.

It seems that I was not alone in my experience.

According to the most recent government statistics 44 percent of middle schools reported bullying problems, while just over 20 percent of both elementary and high schools reported similar issues. While things tapered off for me in high school, I still managed to get into three separate fights while working through my secondary education. 

While my parents were very supportive through every episode, they didn't fully understand what it was like being bullied. I want better for my daughters who are currently in the second and fifth grades respectfully. Fortunately, both our girls have been at the same school, with the same students and teachers for years.

We talk with them every day about school, my wife volunteers there throughout the week and thankfully neither has been bullied yet. I hope they won't.

In researching this topic I came across a very informative web site called StopBullying.gov that had a variety of useful tools including the following myths about bullying. Some of these myths surprised me, and I'm sure they'll surprise other parents as well.  

MYTH #1: Only boys bully.

People think that physical bullying by boys is the most common form of bullying. However, verbal, social, and physical bullying happens among both boys and girls, especially as they grow older.

5 Things About Your Childhood....

This marks the 350th blog post I've written since this blog began in June 2010. Most of what I've written has been about my family and me.

Interesting, a lot of who we have become as adults is derived from our experiences as a kid. As such, I'm curious to find out the following five things about your childhood that you can answer in the comments:

1. How many kids were in your family growing up?
2. What's a favorite childhood game or way to play that you recall?
3. What was your favorite book or book series as a child and why?
4. If you watched TV, what was your favorite program?
5. Share one tradition your family observed or celebrated?

6 Things to Consider Before Considering Kids: RELEVANT Magazine

A few weeks ago I submitted an article to RELEVANT Magazine online, which has a readership of 20-somethings and Millennials, titled 7 Ground Rules to Survive Relationship Conflict.  

Last week, I submitted my second article to the publication which they've posted as well. 


This second article is titled What to Consider Before Considering Kids and it addresses six areas that couples should consider, discuss and agree upon before having children.

Here's an excerpt from my most recent piece at RELEVANT Magazine:
==========================

Shortly after you’re married, you’ll soon be barraged with a single question from family and friends alike: “When are you having kids?"

As a father of two daughters, ages 7 and 10 respectively, and the uncle of 10 kiddos, here’s something to keep in mind about children: Children are external amplifiers of your internal traits and character.

While there might be exceptions, the vast majority of kind, loving and considerate people tend to make great parents who produce great children who echo the traits of those parents. 

But if someone is a broken person when they become a parent, they will almost certainly break their children into a shattering mess that can cycle through several generations.

So to avoid that destructive cycle, here are six questions to consider before you consider having children.

1. Can you work as a supportive team? This requires honest, forthright communication between you and your mate. If either of you fly off the rails at each other about leaving a towel on the floor, the cap off the toothpaste or dirty dishes in the sink, it’ll be a challenge to rise to the occasions of nighttime feedings, sleep deprivation and dirty diapers. Both of you must absolutely agree to work as a cohesive team toward the unified goal of building a family. For example, my wife wanted to nurse our girls; since I couldn’t help in that department, for the first several months I happily changed diapers and gave our daughters baths. Teamwork is critical

=========================

To read the rest of the article and the five remaining areas that couples should discuss, please visit RELEVANT Magazine at the link below:

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/blog/26734-what-to-consider-before-considering-kids

Calling All Bloggers: Share Your Best 9/11 Writing

Zero Hour - courtesy of National Geographic

This is a post about you as an individual and us as a nation.

I'm asking any and all bloggers who have written about the 9/11 disaster - which occurred 10 years ago this weekend - to share a link to their best blog post they've ever written on the topic.

It doesn't matter if it was written five years or five minutes ago. Please provide a 2-3 sentence description in the comments section below as well as a link to your respective post.  Please also share, tweet, stumbleupon or like this post respectively so we can capture a diverse body of work.

May God continue to bless America.

3 Questions Regarding 9/11 and You....

Image of Firefighters at Ground Zero

 

As we all know, this coming Sunday marks the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on our country. Here are three questions about that day that I'd like you to answer in the comments section.

1. Where were you on Tuesday, September 11th 2001 when you found out about the attacks?
I was working for Frontier Communications, a telephone/Internet service company in Rochester New York, as the Director of Corporate Communications.  I was in a one-on-one meeting with a colleague, Kevin Beatson, discussing a marketing plan for a new product we were rolling out when a woman, Amy Flagler, burst into our meeting saying a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. We stopped what we were doing and joined the executive team in the office of our company President Martin Mucci to watch the news and see the second plane fly into the other tower, both towers collapse and learn about the planes that went down in Pennsylvania and into the Pentagon.

2. How did 9/11 change you?
The surreal experience and magnitude of this tragedy changed me forever, and it impressed upon me the frailty and value of human life.

3. Did you attend a religious service that following weekend? Will you this weekend?
My wife and I didn't have children at the time. We went to two prayer vigils that week, church on the weekend and weekly services ever since. We will attend this Sunday as well.

20 Texting Phrases Every Parent Must Know

Teens Holding Cell Phones

According to a recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center Publications the mobile phone is the preferred method of communication for teens. No real surprise.

However, it's stunning to read the following excerpts and information from the research, particularly that one in three teens sends more than 100 text messages a day - or 3,000 texts a month.

According to Pew, some 38% of teens were daily texters in February 2008, and that has risen to 54% of teens who use text daily in September 2009. Of the 75% of teens who own cell phones, 87% use text messaging at least occasionally. Among those teen texters:

-Half of teens send 50 or more text messages a day, or 1,500 texts a month, and as stated above, one in three send more than 100 texts a day, or more than 3,000 texts a month.

-15% of teens who are texters send more than 200 texts a day, or more than 6,000 texts a month.

-Boys typically send and receive 30 texts a day; girls typically send and receive 80 messages per day.

-Teen texters ages 12-13 typically send and receive 20 texts a day, while 14-17 year-old texters typically send and receive 60 text messages a day. 

Given this hyper-communicative nature of teens with their mobile devices, here are the top-20 texts that every parent must know. Most of these were gleaned from a web site called techdictionary and are listed alphabetically. Be advised that some of these are graphic - but parents need to be aware.

1. ASL or ASLA - age, sex, location or age, sex, location, availability?
2. BEG or EG - big evil grin or evil grin
3. BOHICA - bend over here it comes again
4. BYOB - bring your own bottle/beer
5. ESAD - eat  s**t and die
6. FOAD - f*** off and die
7. GTFO - get the f*** out
8. GYPO - get your pants off
9. H4U - hot for you
10. KPC - keep parents clueless
11. LMIRL - let's meet in real life
12. MOS - mom over shoulder
13. MOTAS or MOTOS - member of the appropriate sex or opposite sex
14. POS - parent over shoulder
15. P911 - parent alert change subject
16. WTGP - want to go private
17. YIWGP - yes I will go private
18. 1174 - sender is a member of the 'nude club' willing to send photos 
19. 420 - do you have pot/want to get high?
20. 8 - request for oral sex

These are samples of the preferred dialect that teens are communicating with amongst themselves. If you care for your kids do the following:

1. Spot check their phone and restrict usage for every key stroke they try to delete before they give it to you
2. Take the phones and keep them in your room every night
3. Get a plan with a capped number of minutes and texts so your kids are more judicious in their usage

Question: What other tips do you have or other texting phrases to share? [please try to keep them as close to G-rated as possible]

How We Treat Money and Kids the Same....

We have all heard stories about the down-and-out individual who has never caught a break in their life but wins the lottery out of the blue.  Then 12 months later the same person is broke and in a worse condition than if they had never won the cash. That same scenario plays out with inheritances or trust fund recipients who ultimately come of age.

Switching gears, we’ve also heard horrific stories of child abuse where a toddler soils their diaper and is put outside on a porch in the dead of winter to “learn a lesson” – but ultimately dies from exposure. Or the numerous reports of a crying child who gets fatally shaken in a misguided attempt by some adult to stop the cries.

The reason for these examples is that children and money have a similar attribute.

I believe that both are external amplifiers of our internal character. Let me explain.

While there might be exceptions, the vast majority of kind, loving and considerate people tend to make great parents who produce great children who echo the traits of those parents. Also, even when loving and considerate individuals have very little disposable income they tend to be very generous in their personal giving and donations.

And that generosity is magnified when they happen to come into new found wealth.

As suggested at the beginning of this article, the same holds true in the negative regarding children and money. If someone is a broken person, when they become a parent they will almost certainly break their children into a shattering mess that can last several lifetimes as the cycle of abuse gets passed on generationally.

And if someone can’t responsibly manage a few dollars they get doing a part-time job, they won’t be able to handle real wealth when it comes their way. Specifically if that person blows every dollar they get feeding an addiction when they have very little, that won’t change behaviors in a cash flow windfall. The addiction will consume everything.

This insight should come as no surprise to any of us since it’s ancient wisdom that dates back nearly two thousand years as is writtne in Luke chapter 16, verse 10:

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

The use of the word trust in that passage speaks directly to internal character. And for good or bad, both money and children amplify that internal trait. It’s equally important not to confuse the two – money and children. Too many people would rather hug their money and spend their kids.

Question: Do you think there's a common link between how we treat money and kids?

My Nearly Famous Daughter....

A few weeks ago, we received a phone call from our county's department of environmental protection telling us that our oldest daughter had been recommended by her school to audition for a countywide talent search for a radio public service announcement (PSA) recording.

A short-time thereafter, our 9-year old completed a telephone audition with the county worker overseeing the PSA program who gave her the "job" on the spot. After a few weeks, our daughter visited the number one radio station (WTOP) in Washington, DC [see picture below] to record the PSA along with a boy who was also selected from the thousands of kids in the county. 

#1 Rated Radio Station in the Greater DC Metro Area

Once inside the station, they were taken to a production studio where they went through several practice recordings and several "final" records. Here's our youthful radio announcer with the woman from the county EPA.

Our Little "Paul Harvey" in Training with the
kind woman from Montgomery County DEP

The production engineer took several snippets from the recordings and edited them together into a final :30 segment that will run indefinitely on WTOP and WFED. Here's the "world premiere" of the Kid's Litter Campaign - just click on the arrow "play" button below.

To say that we're proud of this accomplishment is an understatement. It was an invaluable experience that my wife and I are glad she had. However, as a former radio reporter myself, I'm certainly steering her clear of a radio career - the long hours and low pay are too akin to serfdom in this current day and age.

Question: Have you or someone you know ever been on TV or radio? Was it a positive or negative experience for you?

Today Marks 5 Years Since My Dad Died....

Today is the fifth anniversary of my dad's death. He was sitting in his garden, with his newish puppy nearby and a pocketful of dog snacks near one of the Finger Lakes in western New York where he lived. At the time, my siblings and I all lived within 30 minutes of him.

That day, I was in New York City attending some focus group sessions for work - when I received a frantic cell phone call from my brother. He was driving to dad's house to take him out to dinner. Matt found my dad keeled over out of his chair. He started administering CPR to dad while his wife dialed 911.

After the call, I immediately left the focus groups to catch an earlier flight. When I got to the airport and was getting ready to board the plane, Matt called again to say that dad had died.

It was incredibly surreal to hang up the phone and listen to the ongoing hustle and bustle of everyone else's lives continuing, while mine had come to a screeching halt at that moment. When I arrived back in Rochester, my four siblings and I began the process of mourning and planning - things like internment, funeral arrangements and obituary writing.

They were necessary boxes that needed to be checked. One of the tasks that had to be done was his eulogy.  It was agreed that I would deliver the eulogy to honor and memorialize my dad.

Below are the words that I shared at his funeral - I share them here to possibly help someone who may be going through a similar experience.

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It feels surreal and unnatural to lose both parents within such a brief span of time – little more than two years.

I went to church and sat next to my father this past Sunday and did not expect a phone call the next day saying he was gone.

I did not expect that my parents would not live to see any of their 12 grandchildren get married. I did not expect that they would not live to see their great-grand babies. And I certainly did not expect that they would not live to see the age of 65.

Up until this past Monday when he passed, I did not expect anything less than another 15 or 25 good years to share with him.