Today is a bit surreal. My wife and I are “celebrating” our
16th wedding anniversary today, but we’re also attending a graveside
burial for her grandmother – Trudy Smith – later this morning.
The juxtapositions are odd to say the least. I’m thrilled to
still be married to the same wonderful woman, who is still just as double-t
hott as the day we exchanged vows, yet that elation is quite muted by the
obvious loss.
Last year for our 15th anniversary, I was able to
secure a reservation for us at VOLT restaurant outside of Washington D.C. ,
which is owned by Bryan Voltaggio – he was a finalist on season six of the hit cable show Top
Chef.
We had a truly memorable meal and were able to get our photo
taken with the chef – you can check out the blog I wrote about that day by
clicking the link The Greatest Meal of My Life.
Conversely, Kim and I will graze today among a collection of
relish trays and compassionate cassaroles made by sympathetic loved ones at an
after-burial gathering at her parent’s rambler.
Ironically, one of the odd similarities between our wedding
day and this funeral day, is that we will be fortunate to be surrounded by caring
friends and family. While that’s a good thing, the vastly different context
casts a pall over the gathering – literally.
Perhaps, the most noticeable difference between our wedding
and Trudy’s funeral will be the fact that no one will be dancing today – nor should
there be dancing by a grave since it’s a supreme insult that implies you’re
glad at the passing of the deceased.
And that’s not the case for Trudy. She was beloved and is
missed.
But as I type this I’m simultaneously struck by an enduring
memory that Kim and I share of our wedding day.
That is of Trudy and her husband Ray (he predeceased her several years
ago) dancing the night away at our reception. I recall that they barely stopped
long enough for us to cut the cake, before they beat feet back to the dance
floor demanding more music and rug cutting. Whether it was a waltz, foxtrot,
jitterbug or rumba they didn’t miss a chance to share a dance – and we know
they’re dancing together again today.
I guess I was wrong about there not being any dancing….
Very thoughtful commentary for such a day. So eloquent and endearing. Send my regards to Kim. May the lovely memories of the reception dancing 16 years ago somehow lifts the spirits of those who must say their goodbyes this side of heaven. Happy anniversary Tor and Kim.
ReplyDeleteThanks so Christie for taking the time to read the blog and post such a kind comment - it's greatly appreciated! Thanks for the anniversary wishes as well!
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