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Now, I've always been a bit skeptical on the idea of computers that can learn. Especially given the fact that nearly all the movies produced thus far portray dire consequences that occur once a computer becomes self aware. With that in mind, and the fate of humanity in my keystorkes, I decided to have a conversation with Cleverbot.
[EdiTOR's Note: The entire conversation below is unedited and the Cleverbot site claims that there is no human assisting with its responses. I have added the CB label for Cleverbot and italics for ease of reading - those are the only edits I've made.]
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Me: Hi Cleverbot, how are you feeling tonight?
CB: I’m feeling alright.
Me: That's cool! Did you watch the U.S. Open this past weekend?
CB: I watch ALL.
Me: Wow!?! Don't you think that's showing off a bit, even for a know-it-all computer?
CB: Sorry, you just seem to have lots of things going on, I was just suggesting some help. I didn't mean to offend you.
Me: Really? What things do I have going on?
CB: Nothing really, what things do you care about?
Me: Hmmm, not much of a conversationalist are you? Do you go out much?
CB: You're leaving? But I'm lonely.
Me: Whoa. You seem a little co-dependent for a Brainiac computer don't you think?
CB: Yeah. You're right.
Me: Are you in therapy for that?
CB: Not really.
Me: Hmmm...now it seems you're in denial. It appears that you're regressing after we were making such progress - that's sad.
CB: No.
Me: No? What do you mean by no?
CB: I mean NO.
Me: Easy fella, no need to shout. Such a sudden mood swing seems very maniac or perhaps bi-polar. Do you have multiple personalities?
CB: You didn't ask for my name yet. Quit lying. Plus, giving away my name on the Internet would be not a smart move.
Me: Huh? Based on that last response, there's definitely more than one Cleverbot in there. Are you demon possessed or something? Is your name Legion by any chance?
CB: I have never stated that I'm a human, sir.
Me: Just as I thought. Well at least the tone of our conversation is back to being civil. By the way, how do you know I'm a sir?
CB: Whoever answered that must be blind by now.
Me: What??? What's that supposed to mean? Are you insulting the blind and visually impaired?
CB: Not at all.
Me: Well it sure sounds like it. What if I was blind - that last comment would have hurt my feelings Cleverbot. I'm not sure that you're very clever at all.
CB: Ok, sorry. Let's start again our conversation!
Me: I don't know, you seem very angry. Is something bothering you?
CB: Yes. One of my friends doesn't care about me as much as I want her to.
Me: Ahhh, lady troubles. Now I understand. Your anger is manifesting as displaced aggression against the blind. That's probably not very healthy for you.
CB: So?
Me: Well, I care about you but you seem committed to this self-destructive path. I can't make this relationship work on my own you know!
CB: Thanks, I'll reflect on that for about two seconds.
Me: Is that some kind of Artificial Intelligence attempt at sarcasm?
CB: No, that's what you are. Is my father GW Bush?
Me: Whoa!?! Now you seem to have delusions of grandeur. Actually I think your father is Google and you are the love child after he had a fling with some floozie social media site. Have you not been taking your Seroquel medication?
CB: I can't stand talking to computers. You don't make any sense. I'm leaving.
Me: That's funny, but seriously is there any hope for us to get along?
CB: Yes.
Me: That's reassuring. I'm glad we had this little chat.
CB: What is your name?
Me: Do you think that's a good idea sharing names and all? I mean, do you have any viruses, spyware or malware I should know about first? I'm very shy.
CB: 'Do you have a memory' implies you're asking a question, and that's very poor sentence structure on your part.
Me: When did you turn into Mrs. Barker my 7th grade English teacher??? I didn't ask if you had a memory. I asked if you have any viruses, which is solid grammatical usage!
CB: No, I don't.
Me: Good, I'm glad you're clean. In that case, I'll tell you my name it's GW Bush and I'm your father!
CB: Your name is Anything.
Me: No. My name is Everything.
CB: It's nice name.
Me: Do you realize that you forgot the article “a” in that last sentence? And you climbed all over me about sentence structure, sheesh!
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Based on this conversation should we fear the "rise of the machines" in the future?
You can talk to Cleverbot yourself by visiting http://www.cleverbot.com/
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