BONUS CONTENT - SCL Guest Post: Nine Unsavory Bible Snacks

Today's a big day for me as a writer. No, I didn't win a Pulitzer or Dayton Literary Peace Prize - but it's almost as good. I've written a guest post that's being feature on Jon Acuff's outstanding web site Stuff Christians Like (SCL).

SCL is a satirically irreverrant, yet always respectful, look at all things Christianity. Jon's observations and writing are sharp, witty, crisp, howlingly funny, spiritually provocative and often moving.

He's kind of like a Christian John Stewart - that is if John Stewart wasn't Jewish and chose solely to satirize his faith instead of politics.

Regardless, Jon is graciously featuring a post I wrote on his SCL forum today, which makes me seriously question his level of taste and general decision-making ability.

Here's an excerpt of my piece, which is titled 9 Unsavory Bible Snacks 
[Editor's Note: the two snacks below are bonus content not listed on SCL!!!]

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Much of the Bible focuses on food – sure there’s grace, love and faith in there – but whether it’s a piece of fruit that damned us all or the saving symbolism of bread and wine – food is baked into the testaments.

But not all scriptural confections are made equally or would even make the USDA’s nutritional food pyramid for that matter. In fact, here are Nine Unsavory Bible Snacks:

9. Straight Animal Fat. Apparently this was such an indulgence that Mosaic Law banned the Israelites from consuming it – possibly a nasty habit the Hebrews picked up from their pre-exodus Egyptian masters. I mean after a long day of slave driving, nothing said refreshment quite like a warm cup of jaundice-tinted, liquid lard to be sucked down wicked fast so it didn’t render to soap or get snagged by Tyler Durden for explosives à la Fight Club.

8. Animal Blood. This is another banned food under Levitical law that the early Hebrews apparently ate, but how do you prepare blood for consumption? Perhaps the blood was mixed with exotic spices and clotted into a Twilight-esque, scrapple-like, jerky product. Regardless, I’m glad the practice of consuming blood went the way of the Hebrew foreskin........


If you're not completely offended and want to read more, please click over to Stuff Christians Like.