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Friday, February 18, 2011

Would You Like Fries with Your McWedding Dress???

Earlier this week there was a Reuters story about how the McDonald’s corporation was getting into the wedding planning business in select markets.  View the full story at the link below.

For as long as I can remember McDonald’s restaurants have hosted birthday parties for kids, so I guess the marketing gurus at the Golden Arches thought that hosting weddings would be a natural extension – I mean all events are the same right???

At the very least, it’s a thought provoking premise.

Imagine on your “Big Day” the Hamburgler® as the “flower girl,” Grimace as the best man and Birdie® as the bridesmaid.  Perhaps Mayor McCheese® could preside over the nuptials as a de facto justice of the peace – I mean he is an elected official after all, right???

There would be plenty of stiff, Micky-D embossed napkins to dab away the tears during the processional. And as far as favors for the guests, there would be amply supply of Happy Meal® accoutrements readily available - My Little Pony® accessories for the bride’s side of the family and plastic Hot Wheels® racers for the groom’s side.

All while the wedding party is lovingly pelted with chicken McNuggets® instead of rice as they exit the McCathedral.

It would be perfect – a match made in McHeaven.

It’s obvious that the rationale for McWeddings seems sound, so why stop there? 

I mean the reality is that two-out-of-three marriages in this country end in separation or estrangement – so the natural extension from the McWedding is the McDivorce, right???

Imagine the “Just-Married” couple leaving the restaurant and getting in their car, but they decide to pop through the drive-thru for a celebratory lava-filled apple pie and milkshake. However, while waiting in the culinary queue, imagine further that a fight ensues between the newlyweds over some unresolvable issue that forces them to change their order to a regular McDivorce with a large order of fries.

While sad perhaps, it might represent a untapped growth sector for the McDonald's conglomerate.  Or how about the lucrative mortuary segment, where they could offer McFunerals. 

Imagine your beloved resting for eternity in the finished, cushioned interior of the McCasket ablaze with red and gold appointments. The McCasket's exterior could be shrink-wrapped with the image of friendly McDonald Land characters (see photo insert) to help make death more “fun” while simultaneously maximizing the marketing moment. Lastly, the McCasket could have six built in cup holders along the perimeter by its handles so that the pallbearers can enjoy a refreshing Coke® product as they administer their solemn, ceremonious duties.

Hmmmm….that makes me wonder if the marketing geniuses at McDonald’s have worked out a branded co-op deal yet with the management in Hell – I think Lehman Brothers or Enron beat them to it.


  1. I imagine that the casket would be available in Super Size for their "biggest" fans.

  2. I'm laughing out loud, this is hysterical. Loved it. I'm imagining all kinds of "mc's." McHospitals, McDoctors, McSalons, and all that goes with them.