[WARNING: This specific post contains graphic descriptions that might not be suitable for all readers!!!]
There was a time when I used to love all things spring. The swelling buds, leafing trees, the venerable springing to life of “Mother Gaia” – it all spoke of renewed life and a vigorous victory over the death of winter......
But now, spring time simply blows – literally in the nasal mucusol sense – because my histamine response to airborne allergens is so intense.
If you haven’t guessed, I have seasonal allergies.
I’m not sure when it started exactly, but it seems to have gotten progressively worse during the past five to seven seasons.
As a boy, I could frolic in pet dander without the slightest symptom. I daresay that in the fictitious realm of wintry-white Danderland I could happily lie in mounds of the flaky particles making snow angels or pack it into piles of danderballs for a friendly quasi-snowball fight with friends after school.
Or I could just as easily bury my face in a pile of mustard-colored marigold pollen on an oversized mahogany desk without ill effects – reminiscent of Al Pacino’s depiction of Cuban-born drug lord Tony Montana in the movie Scarface. Ahhh….those were the days.
However, that respiratory revelry is no more.
When I was younger, my springtime vices were cold lemonade, bike riding, pond swimming and wiffle ball – now they’re cold remedies Zyrtec®, Allegra®, Claritin® and Chlor-Trimeton® respectively.
Whenever I’m outdoors for any extended period of time, my eyes and nose merge into a lubricious fount of immuno-response – making me look like I’ve been blasted in the face by a mucus-filled Super Soaker®
Yet, despite my penchant for grossly-overstated hyperbole, my symptoms are apparently not severe enough to warrant a prescription-strength medication from my physician – he thinks that over-the-counter (OTC) products will do the trick, despite the sebaceous trail of slime in my wake as I snail out of his office. He also tells me that he has many more patients who suffer much worse and thinks a lot of it is in my head – if he means buckets of phlegm, I would agree but I don’t think that’s his point.
He’s one of “those” doctors with a social conscience who does not like to prescribe medicines needlessly in the interest of appropriately rationing scarce healthcare resources for the greater good. A kind of “needs-of-the-many-outweigh-the-needs-of-the-few” approach to the Hippocratic oath.
Curse you healthcare reform and cost containment measures!!!!
So I’ll continue to spend the next several weeks doing a lot of mouth breathing and tripling up on the daily dosing of the OTC formulations – I guess it’s not a big deal, everyone tells me that unobstructed breathing tends to be overrated anyway (sigh).
So until I change doctors, or get my immune system surgically removed, I’ll just have to sniffle and bear it.
Please join in my misery by sharing a tale of your own allergic woe as a comment below....