Wednesday, August 24, 2011
7 Questions With an Author: Ali Bierman
This is the next installment of a weekly series titled 7 Questions With an Author... where I'll pose seven questions to an author and then share their unedited answers here.
Today's author is Ali Bierman, she's a competency-based psychotherapist who helps people ferret out exactly how they operate in relationships - revealing why those partnerships fail.
With her training, clients grasp the knack of what to do to transform their patterns of behavior, leading to mastery in creating romantic relationships. She also regularly blogs over at http://www.howtohaveamazingrelationships.com/.
Here's 7 Questions with An Author: Ali Bierman
1. Tell us about your book?
Romance Killers: Top 7 Mistakes That Doom Relationships reveals the secrets hardly anybody knows that destroy relationships. I learned lots of not-your-ordinary facts during my 6 decades as a wife of 31 years, psychotherapist and specialized kinesiologist – lots about behaviors, habits and attitudes that miss the boat on connecting with your partner.
People use their competency to relate to each other. If you grew up in a home where your parents always fought then guess what? They way you know how to relate is to instigate arguments.
You cannot change what you do not know causes your patterns. I share all these learnings in the book, to help the reader make their relationships work even better.
2. What led you to write it?
Many of my regular readers ask questions about relationships – mostly about their partners and sometimes about their kids. I keep my responses on file and figured I could serve many people seeking the solutions to common issues with uncommon solutions.
3. Who is a writer that inspires you and why?
Growing up, Ernest Hemingway inspired me. He won awards for both fiction and non-fiction. His writing is so real I feel like I am there with him or with his characters.
Ah, then I discovered Richard Bach. As a metaphysics fan his writing struck a deep chord within me. And his style flows so easily. I do not believe any of his work is fiction.
4. What was the biggest challenge you faced writing this book?
Speaking in a language males comprehend. Obviously my mind operates in female mode. All the men in my life always had so much "feminine" energy (nurturing, gentle and caring) that I never believed or understood the macho male viewpoint.
Yet I could not really address relationships from a strictly female perspective. My friend contributed information and his perspective throughout my entire writing process allowing me to complete a work that serves both genders.
5. What advice would you give to an aspiring writer?
Begin by setting an intention. What do you want this writing piece to accomplish for you and for your readers? Setting your intention allows your subconscious mind to get to work to assist your effort. Write from your heart not your mind.
Sit down and just start writing/typing. Do not stop to think. Do not stop to edit. Write until you have nothing more to say. Let what you wrote sit until the next day. No peeking.
THEN go back and keep what makes sense to you at this time – the parts that you want to keep will jump out at you. You won’t need to rewrite. Everything will fall into place.
Rarely does extraneous material show up in my initial writing. Rarely do I rewrite except to increase clarity. An independent editor, not me, reads for grammatical and expressive errors.
Well, that is how I write. And yes, I write entire books that way. I can turn on, let the words flow for hours then stop to do what needs doing. Next day I sit down and out comes more material—day after day until I’m done.
6. Where do you get your ideas?
I am open to the messages coming from the Universe and my Spirit so I notice them and act on them. For that reason I do not think. I sit down and out comes the finished product. I step back and see what I created. Maybe it’s being in the flow or in the zone. It's always been that way for me.
7. Anything that you'd like readers to know that I haven't asked?
Write because you want to. Well, when you are truly a writer you write because you are driven to do so. It is an addiction, something you've got to do everyday. Oh yes—and it feels great! If it ain’t fun don’t do it!
Ali Bierman’s unique experience reflects what she discovered blending 31+ years of marriage, raising two kids, coaching youth soccer and teaching in the schools, working as a psychotherapist, metaphysical minister, and specialized kinesiologist. She not only tells you the source of the issue but also how to change your life NOW.
Be sure to check out the next installment of 7 Questions With an Author... where we'll feature writer Knox McCoy (yes that's his real name).