|The only vegetable that's |
served in Hell
10. Flavored Coffees - these various caffeinated concoctions smell wonderful when blended by your favorite barrister; however, they taste terrible - a blend of cough syrup and motor oil.
9. Mushrooms - while cooking, these non-vegetables smell like steak tastes; however, one bite of these fungi instantly reminds you that they were grown in the dark, under mounds of animal poop.
8. Pumpkin Pie Filling - this unmistakable scent invokes favorite holiday memories of family and loved ones gathered around the Thanksgiving table, yet a forkful of the foul stuff triggers familiar memories of family holiday in-fighting over nibblets and gizzards.
7. Red Licorice - whether cherry or strawberry, this is the single food on the list that I'll try every couple of months to see if the taste actually measures up to the smell. Each time I do the outcome is the same - FAIL.
6. Cinnamon - again, this is one of those classic holiday spices that is used so much that it wafts through the air almost as much as lake effect snow in downtown Buffalo. While the cinnamony smell is incredible, when the brown cinnamon powder is on its own without sugar it tastes like #2 pencil shavings - with an emphasis on #2.
5. Brussel Sprouts - this vegetable is a nutritional powerhouse that's packed with flavinoids, nutrients and a bunch of other goodness that emits an enticing aroma while cooking that elevates the senses to the heavens. But one taste of the sprouts casts the deliciously-divine smell from heavenly heights to Dante's fifth-ring of Hell reserved for those who lived angry lives. No wonder there's so much gnashing of teeth and wailing....
4. Green Tea - Re-read above and push it down to Dante's seventh-ring of Hell that's reserved for those who lived a life of violence....perhaps the green tea will calm their tortured souls.
3. Fried Dough/Fry Cakes - you can't attend a summer outdoor carnival or state fair without the strongholds of your nostrils being invaded and swarmed by the overpowering assault of fried dough - from the parking lot to the restrooms, the scent is inescapable. Yet, the taste is absolutely unpalatable. I'm sure there will be some disagreement with this one.
2. Kentucky Fried Chicken - as a family, about once a year we'll grab a couple of buckets of the Colonel's famous poultry on a lark. My favorite part of the experience entering the restaurant, purchasing the chicken parts and driving home with it so the scent permeates the confined space. I actually prefer the KFC smell in my vehicle to the "new car smell" that Delta Sonic car wash spritzes across the dashboard after a cleaning. However, the actual taste of KFC is akin to chewing on the leather, sweaty head rest of my car.
1. Movie-Theater Popcorn - is there anyone who disagrees that movie popcorn smells at least 10 times better than it actually tastes? The stuff smells like a rich delicacy reserved for mythological immortals, yet it actually tastes like the algae encrusted nuggets scrapped from the damp boot of a regular on the show Swamp People.
Question: What foods have I left off that smell better than they taste?