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Monday, August 22, 2011

7 Ground Rules to Survive Relationship Conflict


Over the weekend I found out that an article I submitted to RELEVANT Magazine was published. My original submission was titled 7 Ground Rules to Survive Relationship Conflict but was truncated down to How to Fight Well.

Here's an excerpt from my piece:
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Anytime that two people commit to each other, there will inevitably be disagreements. For instance, it’s very likely that before “the Fall” the first marriage in Eden was truly one of wedded bliss. Yet according to the Bible account, their ultimate bliss only lasted until a squabble erupted regarding a piece of fruit that led to the couple’s blistering expulsion from paradise.


It seems from this example that even within the confines of a perfect, God-created garden—where every need was met—the seed of bickering could germinate.


The root cause for such conflict abides within each of us as we read in James 4:1-2: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it” (NIV).


Whether you’re a Christian or not, individual desire doesn’t automatically die once you find your significant other, begin a serious relationship or get married. If anything, those selfish wants seem to blossom because they often cut across the wants and desires of the other person. Hence conflict ensues.


My wife and I recently celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary, and prior to that we dated for another five years—that’s a grand total of 21 years' worth of relational bliss. We’ve had some “spirited disagreements” along the way, but very early on we decided to mutually accept certain rules of engagement to ensure we protected our single most valuable shared asset—our relationship.


To read the rest of the article please visit RELEVANT Magazine at the link below:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/blog/26534-how-to-fight-well


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